G'day Guys,
I'd like to share a word or two about divorce if I can.....
....You see I've noticed over the last little while a number of regular users here have been going through the same turmoil that I have in my personal life.
Basically all I want to offer to those that are in the same boat as me is a little hope.
You might think your world has caved in if you've just left a long-term relationship, I know I sure did, 21 years married to my High School Sweetheart, a best mate for a goodly portion of that time (as Harry knows though, things were on the rocks for us well before the separation).
Its been nearly 2 1/2 years since the ex left, at first I was totally shattered, she took the three kids with her, all I wanted to do was roll up into a ball and die (and yes, I DID contemplate suicide there at the beginning, it is a natural thought process during these events I'm told).
I feel that its a case of putting one foot in front of another during this sort of crisis, DON'T GIVE UP, things WILL get better, they just take a little time is all.....
The first step I took was to get counselling from a really top notch counselling service from the Catholic Church, CENTRECARE is called over here in Australia. Dont freak out if you're not into God or Religion, these people CARE about people in need, they dont push religious agendas, they are commited to helping ANYONE that asks for help, THEY ARE THE BEST!
Anyway, the counsellors at Centrecare helped me in the grief process, assisted in mediating between my ex-wife and I (yes we did try the reconcilliation route, but the relationship was terminal) and also organized custody of children, division of assets etc, basically all the urky stuff that needs a level, impartial head to plough through.
As it turned out, my now 13 year old son expressed a desire to come back and live at home with me, something facilitated by our counselling service, my two daughters decided to stay with Mum (all in all a great result).
Time is a good healer! Whilst my ex and I are no longer a couple, we are now friends, we get on well which is a good thing for the kids (and us). I encourage guys, if at all possible, try to keep the anger and hurt at bay, make an effort to help in this healing process, its good for your soul and also for your kids, they are the most important part of any relationship.
Finally, I have to mention the climbing out the other side bit!
Dating and getting back into life again DOES take a little time, there is a lot of baggage being dragged around after any long-term relatonship, it does tak awhile to get your head back into the zone. Dont rush out and get another woman, there are a lot out there, RESIST the temptation, take your time, get to know them and go in with eyes wide open!!!!
This is Michelle, we've known each other for a little over a year now, been going out on and off for about ten months or so. I met Michelle through my work, not something I'd personally recommend, but thats how things turned out. To say the relationship started off slightly rocky is a bit of an understatement
She had a pretty tough first marriage and mine was not too far behind, we liked each other a lot but it did take a bit to knock the rough edges off each other. Again time is the key and not being in a rush to jump in too quick.
Love at first sight is a crock! Well it is in my opinion, Love takes time to mature in a couple, sure there is the initial infatuation, but Love is the thing that keeps things healthy in any relationship. Michelle and I are moving towards a more permanent relationship (yes, marriage), but we both realize the value of taking our time and getting to know each other better. This has worked for us and I personally advocate this approach to others in my situation.
And no we aren't a "perfect" couple
This mythical beast
really doesn't exist in my opinion! She hates my motorbikes, refuses to ride on them mostly (only had her on once so far). I think her "knitting
fetish" sux, just pure silliness in my eyes, BUT we both ACCEPT that we have different interests and make allowances for that. We also go to different
churches, I'm Lutheran, she is Jehovahs Witness, either of us wouldnt be seen dead in each others church, but we both accept that our faiths make us into
the people that we are.
THE GOOD NEWS IS that whilst she has no real interest in slot cars, she can see the value in them for providing heaps of "boy time" for my son Jake, her son Bill and I. Finally a woman that doesn't freak out when a package from Cincy Slots or Top Slots 'n Trains lands on the front doorstep
